I thought chain letters and Ponzi schemes were pretty well over with, until yesterday that is. I arrived home like I always do to find a hand addressed envelope waiting for me.

Ponzi Scheme Envelope
I quickly noticed the lack of a return address, so I looked at the postal stamp. "Lansing MI". Not knowing anyone in Michigan, I opened the letter apprehensively, expecting white powder to coat my hands any minute.

But the white powder never came. Instead, inside the envelope I found a way to make $800,000.00 (or $800,000,000.00 depending on which page of the letter you read) in just 90 days! I was so excited to be receiving this great opportunity I nearly wet myself. I quickly read the entire letter as I got sucked into a dream world of mansions and sports cars. "Boy oh boy, $800,000.00... I'm gonna be rich!" I thought.

So, since I was so lucky to receive this fantastic opportunity from.... Cory? I guess? I am going to share this wonderful business venture with all my readers. And to be nice, you don't even have to send me a dollar! How nice am I? That's right, just write copies of this letter and mail it to 100,000,000 people, and you too might be able to make $800,000 in 90 days JUST LIKE ME.

Give me a break. I mean, seriously, who is still falling for this stuff? Sorry Kerrie, Pearlie, Debbie, Glenn, Patrick, and Cory (See Page 3), but do you really think you're going to make a fortune by mailing 6 guys a buck and then mailing 200 people (like me) and asking us to send you a $1?

A little advice for anyone who does want to try this:

A. Don't put your real name, it isn't needed, people are suppose to send you a dollar bill, not a check.
B. Don't put your real address, buy a P.O. Box like Kerrie & Pearlie did.
C. Why don't you want your real name and address on this? Because then everyone like me who gets one of these letters knows where you live and knows that you will have $800,000 in a couple months and we can come rob you!